The Office Paper Airplanes
by Simple Paradox
Summary: This is an episode of the show "The Office" in script form. Michael Scott has the great idea of selling paper airplanes. After that plan fails, he challenges Jim to a paper airplane off. Best paper airplane wins!


The Office: Paper Airplanes

Dwight walks in as usual and heads over to his desk. He stops just besides his chair to see three pies on his desk. He then quickly looks at Jim who is watching him.

Dwight: Jim, what's with the pie?

Jim: What do you have against pie?

Jim has a pen to the corner of his mouth.

Dwight: I happen to be very found of pie. But only beet pie. Now tell me what the joke is?

Jim just stares for a few more seconds.

Dwight: Michael!

Dwight puts his bag on his chair and starts walking to Michael's office.

Jim: Michael went to IHOP to get some breakfast.

Dwight stops and turns to Jim.

Dwight: Fine, I'll just call him.

Jim smiles into the camera.

Dwight checks his pockets, bag, and desk looking for his cell phone. He then turns to Jim. Jim looks at the pie.

Dwight: You didn't.

Jim: Oh, I did.

Dwight puts his hands on Jim's desk and gets up in his face.

Dwight: Which pie is it in, Jim?

Jim pretends to zip his lips and throw away the key.

Dwight: Ok, I find out my self.

Dwight uses the office phone to call his cell phone. You her it ring from the middle pie.

Dwight: Ha! I found it, idiot.

Dwight was about to dig into the pie with his hands when Jim says…

Jim: Nope. That's cheatings. No hands.

Dwight gives him a look and Jims quickly ties his hands together.

Dwight rolls his eyes.

Dwight: Idiot, I've trained myself to get out of any tie.

He tries to get out and doesn't succeed.

Dwight: That's a good knot.

He stares at the pie and starts to eat it.

Dwight: What is this, apple? What kind of fruit is an apple? It's disguising and weak.

The camera zooms in on Jim and he smiles.

-Opening Credits-

You see Michael playing with a paper airplane, making airplane noises.

Interview with Michael:

Michael: Last night I had a sudden thought or epiphany (but say's it wrong). I was thinking about what I would do if a got the key to the city like I do every night and I imagined a reporter asking me 'will do anything else besides paper?' And that's what got me thinking. I would never leave the paper business but what if we did something else but it involved paper. Then I thought paper airplanes. Kids love 'em. I love 'em. I think I should call them Dunder planes. Yeah... that, that sounds good.

-Conference Room-

Michael is standing in the front of the room with a paper board to his left. Everyone else walks in and takes there seat. Stanly starts to do his crossword puzzle.

Michael: I called you all here today because I have had a stroke of genius.

Stanly starts to laugh. Michael ignores it.

Michael: My stroke of genius is to sell paper airplanes or Dunder planes!

Stanly starts laughing again.

Stanly: This is one of the worst ideas you have ever had.

Mike: Well, Stanly, at least I'm doing something productive and not just sitting around all day doing crossword puzzles.

Stanly: If you want to do something productive then go crawl in a hole somewhere in the outskirts of Canada.

Mike: Stanly, I would never do that because it is a very stupid thing to do and I am legally banned from Canada for reasons I will not explain.

Stanly stares at the camera.

Meredith: Ok, I'm leaving to go get some stake with my coupons.

She holds up a stake coupon and starts to leave.

Pam: Oh, Meredith, not again.

Meredith shrugs and walks out the door.

Mike: Ok, well back to the presentation.

Mike points to the board that has a drawing of a graph and a line going up it. The line is drawn in different colors.

Mike: Here I have graph of how the sales of the paper airplanes will do.

Pam: Michael, that's not a graph. There's no key and there are no labels for anything and it's drawn in crayon.

Mike: Yes it is a graph Pam because it looks like a sideways pair of half pants.

You see Andy tilt his head sideways.

Pam: Is that you in the corner?

She points to a stick figure drawn in blue crayon with a tie.

Mike: Yes, it is. I drew myself in blue because blue represents character and leadership.

Dwight: Actually most people associate blue with sadness or depression.

Mike: Shut up, Dwight.

Jim stands up and walks over to the board.

Jim: Ok, I'm going to show you want to real graph of the paper airplane sales will look like. {To Mike}- Can I have something to write with?

Mike Picks up a big box of crayons.

Mike: I got the one with the little sharpener.

Jim: Of course you did.

Jim takes out a yellow crayon.

Andy: No, you never write with the yellow crayon! You can never see it! God, Tuna!

Jim: Ok then.

Jim takes out a pink crayon.

Dwight: Ha, Jim picked the weak, girly color.

Jim: What are you 5?

Jim writes money on one of the axis. He draws a line going down, off the graph.

Jim: This is what it would look like because no one wants to buy something they can make at home and it would be a waste of company paper.

Jim puts down the crayon then goes to sit back next to Pam.

Dwight stands up and quickly goes over to stand next to Mike. He is angry.

Dwight: What is wrong with you people? This is a great idea! We can use them as weapons and sell them to the army.

Creed: No, we should sell them to terrorists.

-Interview with Creed-

Creed: Yes, I keep in contact with several terrorists located in the United States. If they need something, I get it to them. In return they give me money. I am fairly good friends with Buhada Yushmanitia. I can call him right now if you want.

Creed takes out his phone, presses a button and holds it up to his ear.

-Camera Cuts-

Mike: We are not going to sell them to terrorists!

Dwight: But they still make great weapons. Watch.

Dwight throws the paper airplane and it hits Andy in the eye.

Andy: Ah! What is wrong with you?

Andy pulls the plane out of his eye and throws it on the ground.

Dwight is smiling.

Dwight: That proves my point.

Dwight sits back down.

Phyllis: Oh my, let me go get you some ice.

Phyllis leaves and once she's out the door she smiles and goes over to Vance Refrigeration.

Angela: This is still a bad idea. If we are going to sell anything it should be cat glasses.

Everyone looks at her strangely.

Angela: Cats have vision problems too.

Kevin: We should just stick to selling paper.

Everyone starts talking to each other, agreeing.

Mike: Fine! I don't care what you all think! I'm still going to sell paper airplanes!

Mike storms out of the room and slams the door. Toby follows.

-In Michael's office, they are standing near the door-

Toby: Michael, Jim's right. This is a big waste of company paper. If you don't stop I'm going to have to call Corporate and report this.

Michael fidgets, looking at the ground and angrily at Toby.

Mike: You know what? No, just…no.

Mike crumbles the paper airplane in his hand and throws it in Toby's face.

Mike: A great man once said, "I have a dream." Do you want to disappoint that man?

-Interview with Mike-

Mike: Leonardo DiCaprio.

-Back in Mikes office-

Toby just walks out of his office. Michael is staring out the window in his chair angrily.

-Interview with Toby-

Toby: As much as I would love to call Corporate and report him, it's best just to let this blow over. I'm sure he will move on to another idea tomorrow.

Toby looks down at the floor and whispers

Toby: Oh, God.

-Back at Office-

You see Michael throwing paper planes all around the office. There are at least three. Michael throws one and it hits Pam. Michael starts laughing and Pam just stares at the camera.

Interview with Pam:

Pam: What do I think about Michael's new idea…

She thinks and winds up not saying anything.

-Break-

Michael has a great paper airplane in his hands and he is showing it to everyone.

Michael: This airplane is my pride and joy. No other airplane can defeat it!

Jim: We will just see about that.

Michael stares at the camera then Jim while still smiling.

Interview with Jim:

Jim: I have no idea how to make a paper airplane. But I just like bugging Michael. And I really don't want to work today.

-Break-

Michael: Really?

Jim nods.

Jim stands up, grabs his bag and slings it over his shoulder.

Jim: I'm taking my lunch break

Jim gets up and leaves

Michael: Fine. It's on at 4:30 in the parking lot, you tall freak!

Jim Interview:

Jim: He's just jealous.

-Break-

Pam throws a paper airplane at Michael.

Michael: Ah, who did that?

Pam points at Dwight.

Michael: Seriously Dwight?

-Jim at book store-

Jim walks into the kids section of the store and finds Mikes picture with 'Most valued costumer' underneath the picture.

Jim looks at the camera.

Jim: Why am I not surprised?

-Interview with Michael-

Michael reading from good night moon.

Michael: Good night moon. Good night st-st, what's this word?

Points to it. Someone in the background says "Stars"

Michael: Oh, Good night stars.

-In office-

Dwight stands in front of everyone and says

Dwight: I think it is of most respect that we chose sides for this duel. Of course I'm on Michael's team.

Pam: I'm on Jim's team. (Says quickly)

Dwight: Of course you are you're his wife.

Pam: You're just jealous.

-Dwight interview-

Dwight: That is so true.

-Back at Office-

Andy: I will be On Michael team.

-Interview with Andy-

Andy: The Nard-Dog is always on the winning team. But this time I'm just scoring points with the boss.

-Back at Office-

Dwight shoots Andy a glance.

-Interview with Dwight-

Dwight: Andy is the biggest kiss-up in the office.

The camera stays on him.

Dwight: What?

-Jim at book store-

Jim: I found the perfect book

Holds up book.

Jim: Paper airplanes for dummies.

Jim leaves.

-Back at Office-

Jim is starting to make his paper airplane. You see Mikes head pop up trying to see what he's doing.

-Outside-

Kevin and Oscar are in the crowd and Kevin says

Kevin: I have 10 bucks and 5 M&M's on Jim.

Oscar: Do you have a unlimited supply?

Kevin shows Oscar a big bag of M&M's from his coat and goes "Sshhh" and puts it back under his coat.

Oscar: That's a big bag.

Mike (from a distance) shouts: That's what she said!

-Mike Interview-

Mike is laughing and is writing it down in a "That's what she said" joke book.

-Outside-

Dwight: Michael, you got this like beets in a bag.

Mike: That's… not very encouraging.

Dwight blows his whistle.

Dwight: Ok everyone! It's time to begin. The paper airplane that travels the farthest wins.

Jim: Isn't that your emergency whistle?

Dwight: Yes, I consider this an emergency… especially if Michael loses.

Jim shoots a glance at the camera.

Jim: Good luck… You'll need it. I read the book.

Michael takes out the Paper airplanes for dummies book.

Michael: Do you mean this one?

Jim stares at his airplane.

Dwight: Kelly! Did you bring the music?

Kelly walks in front of the crowed with an iPod player like thing.

Kelly: You bet I did!

Kelly starts playing "Airplanes" by B.O.B featuring Haley Williams.

Dwight runs up to her and turns it off.

Dwight: What kind of music is this? I told you to get "Eye of the Tiger"!

Kelly: Yeah, but I thought this song would go better with the theme of the fight. Besides, "Eye of the Tiger"? You seriously want to play music from the sixties?

Dwight looks at the camera then back at Kelly, about to correct her.

Jim: Guys, it's ok, we don't need any music.

Dwight and Kelly at the same time: Fine.

Kelly goes back into the crowd; Dwight goes back to his original spot.

Dwight: Okay, where was I…oh, yes. On your mark… get set… throw!

Michael winds up like a picture and throws it up. It falls back down in the same place. At the same time, Jim throws his and it goes farther than Michaels.

Michael runs and picks up Jims plane and yells.

Michael: This is not Dunder Mifflin certified paper! You cheater!

Michael tries to rip it, but cant, so he throws it on the ground and steps on it.

-Interview-

Mike: I… admit defeat. But what should I do with all the paper I put aside for my fleet of planes?

-Office-

Michael runs out of his office and points a paper wand at Dwight.

Michael: Exspelleamus!

Dwight pulls out an authentic wand and shouts:

Dwight: Avada Kadavera!

Michael falls on the floor pretending to be dead.

-Interview-

Dwight: I'm a huge Harry Potter fan. I have read all the books and am a year 4 Hufflepuff.

Someone outside the room: What the hell is a Hufflepuff?

-Cuts to commercial if possible-

-Goes back to Creed in the interview room-

Creed: Hey, Buhada! It's Creed.-Pauses for a second, listening- (Goes into a whisper) I don't have that right now, but meet me at the Eagles nest and we can talk there.

-Credits-


End file.
